me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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