I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
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