Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
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