I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
there's paper in my vomit.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
