We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Randomize