Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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