its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
