Nicole vs. Life
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Randomize