Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
