took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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