Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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