What did we do last night that was yellow?
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Randomize
