My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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