It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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