You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
