I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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