theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
