My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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