I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
