Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
