oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
i believe in u and ur pee
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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