I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
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