I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
