Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Randomize
