Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
