I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
