Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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