You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Randomize
