so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
