So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
