We named our party play list daddy issues
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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