I think I am morally bankrupt
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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