Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
