He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
no more duck duck goose at the bar
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
