Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
