I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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