hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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