i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
