so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
