Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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