my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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