What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
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