Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
