this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
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