Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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