dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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