oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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