her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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