I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
