I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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